positive thoughts :)

back on track.

back on oratane! i was off it for almost a month, got my blood test results back, and everything's almost back to normal :)
i was really worried i'd have to start all over again, but the doctor just told me to continue from before.

so currently on my third month :)
he rang me the other day to see how i was going, which was so nice of him!
also i'm feeling a lot more positive.

i went to a cousin's birthday party the other day and she had FLAWLESS skin! she didn't have to wear any foundation, only a bit of blush. when everyone asked her about her skin, she said she used to have really bad skin, but went on roaccutane.

i can only hope my skin will one day be like hers... except with a lot of holes :(

by the way, summer's approaching and lots of holidays planned.
only thing that sucks is i'll be on oratane and i'll have to be really careful in the sun...
*sigh*
but it's a sacrifice i'm willing to make and it'll be all worth it in the end.

krystal x

oratane - until we meet again.

so i had my prescription all ready to go buy my third packet of oratane, but on the way i stopped at the doctors to book an appointment for the end of the week.

however, the receptionist told me there was an available time slot after the next patient, so i got to see the doctor within 15 minutes.

he checked my latest blood test results and... i find that i'm now anemic and am low in white blood cells!

the doctor told me to stop the medication, just continuing using the cream he gave me (4% clindamycin mixed in cetaphil) and is making me taking centrum multivitamins until the next blood test in about two weeks :(

i'm thinking it has something to do with my new shift to "healthier foods" which means less red meat, since i'm currently lacking in iron and constantly feeling tired.

i'm just hoping it doesn't halt my progress and that i can go straight back onto oratane and continue once i'm better... and hopefully my acne doesn't get any worse :'(

- K xoxo

masked attempt.

this is what my skin currently looks like when I wear foundation.

when i wear makeup, it makes me look and feel so dirty and unpresentable! i absolutely hate wearing it, but at least i look a bit more socially acceptable with it on :(

sometimes i wonder what employers think when they interview me. maybe they think "i'm not hiring her, she'll scare the customers away!"

i can’t even be beautiful, even if I tried…

miracle cures for acne?

well roaccutane (oratane) definitely isn't one...
you have to be patient, very patient, for it to work.
so hopefully the results will be worth it.

i was at the doctors this morning, and he seemed at a loss to what to do because i still keep getting fresh acne, while the existing ones are still pretty bad.
he wanted to put me on the pill as well to speed up the process, but then he thought about it and said maybe we should just wait for the medication to take effect.

i've also been getting nosebleeds and puffy, swollen fingers :S
but i'm not sure if that's because of the medication or not...

oh, and another thing that you all might find useful;
the lady receptionist told me to:
- not eat beef
- drink lots of water (duh)
- drink chinese herbal medicine, apparently green tea will make it worse
- not consume soy sauce

i don't really believe in green tea making it worse, and i'm definitely NOT torturing my tastebuds with the chinese herbal teas, but it won't hurt to cut down on beef or soy sauce :)

xx

mwah xoxo

just kidding...
i wouldn't kiss anyone with these lips!
i am constantly putting lip balm on and they're still all dry and chapped, i can't even wear lipstick :(

sorry to disturb you with the picture, but i thought i'd let you all know exactly what it does to you, and i haven't finished my second month yet...

some days my lips are so cracked that they bleed. i've never had dry lips at the outer corners of my mouth, but they're the areas that seem to be affected the most. they sometimes crack so much that they feel like they're bleeding... but nothing else major.

what's really weird is, why is my face still oily?!
isn't oratane meant to dry it out?
i mean, it's not as oily as it was before, but still pretty shiny... especially in comparison to my lips!

anyways, that's probably the biggest side effect of being on oratane (for me) so far.
sorry if i scared you in any way :(

xx

perserverance.